A year without social media: lessons learned I have been on an extended vacation from millennial life: I deleted my primary social media accounts last December and spent the past year essentially disconnected from the social media world.
It happened on a family trip to Florida in December 2014, when I was more excited about the fresh photos and videos I would post instead of the actual vacation. Finally, on the last night of our trip, one of my videos did not upload correctly, and I reached my breaking point. I was frustrated with the pressures of maintaining a double life and afraid of how a device consumed and controlled me. I was annoyed and defeated, from chasing this perfect life online when I was facing so many struggles in real life.
I was feeling anxious and depressed and worthless and inadequate. I was far from OK, but on social media I was forced to say I was OK. I had reached the bottom of my suffering, and as a result, no action seemed too drastic. Getting off social media seemed like the easiest way to get a fresh start. Even though my former self, an eighth-grader who had begged her father for a social media profile, would have been astonished and angry.
At first, it was a little confusing. I continued to constantly and desperately check my phone despite the lack of notifications.
By quitting mainstream social media, I was also more open to other “drastic” lifestyle choices. I graduated a semester early from high school, and although it had a positive impact on my life, I certainly would have regretted it or wavered on my decision had I been active on social media. I also began practicing yoga and started a new job working with children, both monumental for my healing. Without social media, they became things I did for me, not for the showing off or the photo opportunities.
My lifestyle without social media was enlightening, peaceful and uncomplicated because I had basically created a safe bubble for myself. I did not judge new friends based on their online profiles, and vice versa. I did not experience significant events through the lens of my camera. I did not rely on likes and favorites for self-validation and gratification.
At the time, escaping the online world was a necessary step to find peace and healing; however, I am ready to return to it.
Life without social media is simple, but it is safe. In the past year, I disassociated myself with the negative aspects of social media, but I also missed out on the benefits. I lost the creativity it takes to entertain an audience in 140 characters. I lost the need to capture important moments. I lost a subtle, but very significant social bond that ties us together.
I recently re-entered the public sphere, and it feels a lot like starting my life over from scratch. I am back to consuming news about my peers, back to wishing people “Happy Birthday” because the social network said to do so, and back to collecting the Likes. But most importantly, I am back. Maybe I just have to learn to accept those flaws.
I used to view social media as this fake, easy solution to the difficulties of real life, but perhaps avoiding social media altogether was the easy way out. Living in a bubble was easier, and while I will miss the quiet, I know it does not reflect the real world. The real world is loud and messy and complicated, and sometimes we need a break from it to fully appreciate the beauty of chaos. |