A big change Julie had had long hair since she was 8 years old. She used to keep it plaited during the summer and occasionally she would curl it for a special occasion. She didn’t mind the time it took to take care of it, and actually took great pride in keeping it healthy, shiny and well-brushed. But she had just turned 17, and she was beginning to feel that her hair was a symbol of her childhood, holding her back from being the young adult she wanted to be.
So she booked an appointment at her hair salon and told her hairdresser of her plans. She arrived at the salon full of both excitement and concern, that somehow she was beginning a new phase of her life, but she would look radically different. It seemed both simple and complex at the same time: she considered it simple when she wanted to calm her nerves about taking a big step, but it became complex when she thought about how she was losing something that had been a part of her for so long.
When her hairdresser called her into the chair, Julie got a sick feeling in her stomach, but she tried to tell herself, ‘It’s just a haircut’, and she must have repeated that to herself ten times by the time she made it to the chair. Her hairdresser asked her how she was feeling, and there was no covering it up: ‘I’m nervous!’ she replied. Her hairdresser asked her if this is what she really wanted to do, and whether perhaps they should just do a trim. Julie said in her most convincing voice - in an effort to convince herself most of all - ‘No, it’s time to let go.’
Her hairdresser combed her hair, taking a few moments to do so, and with each passing moment, Julie was on tenterhooks, knowing that the hairdresser’s hands would soon be holding scissors which would slice through her hair, taking just seconds to do so. Her hairdresser asked her how school was, and Julie replied without thinking, ‘It’s fine. I’ve got a lot of difficult classes and I’m quite busy all the time.’ The truth was that she found her classes to be quite easy and she was busy sometimes, but not all of the time. She didn’t know why she’d lied - she simply couldn’t concentrate on anything other than what the hairdresser was about to do.
Her hairdresser put the comb down and picked up the scissors. ‘This is the moment of truth. Are we going ahead then?’ her hairdresser asked sincerely. Julie took a deep breath and nodded her head affirmatively. Her hairdresser took each section of hair at a time and chopped several centimetres off. It was soon done, but the sense of relief that Julie had hoped would come over her, didn’t. It remained far from her, and she was even more nervous than before.
Her hairdresser finished trimming the ends so that the style was even, and she cut some of the hair around Julie’s face so that her face was better framed. Julie looked in the mirror, if only for a brief moment, and she felt like a totally different person, but less confident than she’d imagined and more like someone who was unsure of the world. Her hairdresser, sensing Julie’s unease, told her she’d get used to it and assured her she looked beautiful. Those kind words were quite helpful for Julie’s mood, and as she left the salon, she began to forget about her nervousness. In fact, after walking down the street a few blocks, she randomly caught her reflection in a window. She saw the person she had wanted to see all along, and she finally felt satisfied with her decision. |